Ok, here's a hint, DON'T go for the ones who reek of patchoulli or what ever the fuck that shit is, go for the ones that have the hemp clothing, they're most likely vegan and less toxic.

On Playa driving:
WHEN it's TAN take the VAN.
IF it's BROWN, you'll DROWN.

ON PLAYA ENTRANCES
info, courtesy of the locals
Now listen up

there's three entrances.
Entrance one and two;
and inbetween em
is the burning man road.

Trego Mountain is called the Elephant,
because it looks like one.
Drive toward his ear to get to frog pond.

Drive past his tail for Trego ditch.

DON'T steer too close to shore
looking for roads in the
white crusty salty part of the playa
that is like driving into a mudslick
asking to get stuck.

don't say no until you've heard the whole thing
don't say yes until you've heard the whole thing.

Don't get involved in communal kitchens.
Bring baby wipes, nobody likes devils ass.
What did we do before ziplocks?
Mutate your bicycle - so much easier to find.
Take some bottles of Ensure to keep you going.
Camelbacks rule.
If you feel thirsty you're already dehydrated.
Goggles are a must. I could say that about hats too.
Huge faux fur shaggy coat is a must for cold playa nights.
Leather pants too.
Take some time to explore alone.
If you're sick of cooking get on your bike and ride around, someone will feed you!
I know it's soooooooo cool to be on playa time - but there's a lot you miss if you don't check out the schedule of events.
If you're in a relationship read the playa guide to relationships - it helps. Give each other space, Make dates etc
Center camp is fun.
Getting ice is fun.
Oh yeah and about the sunscreen. Slip Slop Slap.